I Just Got Called a Little Old Lady!

San Antonio International Airport

January 6, 2015   

I was first in line to approach the next available agent to get my boarding pass. An agent became available, but I could not move immediately because a family with several young, well-behaved children was crossing  directly in front of me. I think I automatically smile when I see children, and I was probably smiling when the agent caught my eye.  A woman who, from her accent, I later surmised might have been from the Caribbean Islands.  She smiled at me and said for everyone to hear, “There is a smiling little old lady, a sweet grandma.”

To say I was caught off-guard would not be a hyperbole. I approached her station, still smiling, and said, “A little old lady I may be, but a grandma I am not. I am a Catholic Sister.”  She was gracious and efficient in getting my board pass for me.  She was very pleasant and there was no doubt that her spontaneous description of me was not in any way done with a demeaning or pejorative intention. As I thanked her, I asked her, because I had forgotten, what words she had used to describe me as a grandma.  She said, “Sweet. Someone who bakes cookies for her grandchildren.”

For my readers who have never seen me in person,  I’m 5”6” -- 1 ½” shorter than in my earlier years. I’m not svelte, but I’m not obese. I’m not little.

But the airline agent’s use of this often-used phrase never refers to these physical characteristics. Rather it reflects the perceptions of age in the eye of the viewer in the context of our society’s view of aging and older adults. “Little old lady” lumps all older women together as a group of women with common characteristics. One little old lady is like every other little old lady. We've all heard stories, have perhaps, for shame, even told them, with lines that begin, “There was this little old lady” or “there were two little old ladies ---.” Images and concepts come to mind when this phrase is used or heard. Think of the descriptive words that come to mind when YOU hear “little old lady.”  Do you automatically think, for example, university professor, immunologist, cancer survivor mentor, world traveler, executive director, or are the images more like behind the times, not really too ‘swift’, over the hill, living life with very limited hopes or dreams, etc.

After I got through security, I HAD to call a few of my friends and relate this experience. My telling of it involved much laughter on both sides of the telephone conversations.  I’ll have to ponder the why of that more deeply, but my first thoughts are that it is just my spontaneous response to the actual experience of this totally unexpected event coming from a stranger.  And this woman had no awareness of the negative, pejorative implications of this phrase. I do feel very good that I didn't feel insulted. I’m happy I laughed and shared this experience. I feel good that I can say without embarrassment or apology that I am an older woman – but not as old as I’m going to be, God willing!

Now this older woman has a plane to catch!