The Geography of Memory Part 3 of 3

© Imelda Maurer, cdp July 14, 2014

I read an online obituary last week for a woman I felt I had known to at least a small degree after reading her daughter’s book, “The Geography of Memory.” If you have read the book, you too will read about a familiar person in this very personalized obituary. The obituary can be accessed here.

I must draw attention again to institutional and depersonalized words regarding the elderly, their health status or the services they receive that can creep into the noblest of works. Words are so important in the way we frame our images and concepts.  In the effort to change the culture of aging and aging services, a project that demands a total transformation of how we presently perceive aging, old age and frailty, we must find words that reflect the person with his/her dignity, wholeness and personhood.

Walter Brueggumann¹ says of the Hebrew Testament prophets: “Most of all, they understood the distinctive power of language, the capacity to speak in ways that evoke newness ‘fresh from the word.’

Thus, it would be much more in keeping with Erna’s dignity to describe her and others with her diagnosis as “persons living with dementia” rather than “demented adults” as is found in Walker’s book.  We are each more than our diagnosis.  Walker actually reflected that truth in how she talked about her mother, even in her last months of life. But it is all too easy to take on the words of the larger society when we know at some deep subconscious level that the words are inadequate.

“Diaper” is a term that defines protective clothing used with babies. It is not a term that, when used in describing adult protective clothing that reflects dignity. “Incontinent briefs” or “incontinent pads” are much more appropriate terms.  Mrs. Walker herself exclaims to her daughter when confronted with Depends, “Diapers are for babies!”

Editors need to get the word (no pun intended) that just as certain words are now seen as racist, for example, there are also words that are depersonalizing to elders, especially frail elders.

Karen Schoeneman, formerly of CMS has a great chart of ‘old words’ and ‘new words’. You can access it here. Print it out and practice using new words! When we change our words, we can change a culture!  And we are acting in the tradition of the prophets – persons who pointed to an alternative world, the world of the Kingdom of God.

1. Walter Brueggemann (2001). The Prophetic Imagination (2nd^.  ed.)Minneapolis. Augsburg Fortress. p xxiii.