"Never throw away old pantyhose"

The title here is a headline I saw earlier today at Yahoo.com. It is actually the first line of an obituary for Mary Maloney, a mother and grandmother and so much more, who died early this month in Wisconsin. The Yahoo article is quite moving as it quotes part of the obituary.

Explaining why the family created and published this unique obituary, Kevin, one of Mary’s sons said, “We wanted it to portray who she was and her love for people and just her funny ways of going about it. She was an extraordinary person in an ordinary way. ‘Survived by so and so and accomplished this and that didn't capture that.’"

I’ve often wondered why we Sisters don’t pay public tribute in a similar way when one of our own dies. When we note the passing of our own now, most of us in the community have known that Sister for 40 or 50 or 60 years. We’ve ‘grown up together. We experienced Vatican II and post Vatican II religious life together; we have sat in circles or at the breakfast table and talked about profound things and not so profound things; we have shared in the ups and downs of our birth families, sometimes of struggles and victories in our personal, professional or community life. We have prayed together, laughed and cried together. We have known how she was loved and appreciated by those she served in ministry, how she brought life to a local community - - - .I agree with Kevin Maloney, ‘Survived by so and so and accomplished this and that’ doesn’t capture that.

And from another perspective: is there not much to say about our cherished members, about the life they lived with grace and honor, the life and love they brought to us and to others throughout their lives? If a young woman reads an obituary which only states ‘daughter of’, ‘served in . . . ’, ‘services are . . . ’ would that obituary stir a curiosity or interest in religious life.

What if a young woman reads an obituary that includes this statement: “Sister will be remembered as a talented, innovative and caring teacher and a gifted poet.” And the statement from an alumna: “She left an indelible mark on the hearts and lives of our family."

It seems to me that this latter example of an obituary accomplishes more than one purpose: it shows due honor to a cherished member of the congregation. Really, aren’t we more than where we taught or what we taught? What schools or hospitals we administered? This more personal obituary also puts a spotlight on a single life of love and service, lived uniquely and received uniquely by those whom she served and the Sisters with whom she shared her life.

My gratitude to the Religious of the Sacred Heart, Atherton, California for the obituary I just quoted. It appeared in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on August 21, 2013, marking the death of Sister Anna Mae Marheineke, RSCJ


(If you want to read the entire obituary of Mary Maloney, a tribute to and beautiful portrait of an undoubtedly loving, lovely and special woman, you can copy and paste this link into your browser: http://www.feerickfuneralhome.com/notices.php?id=1036 )