Wonderful Things Happening!

Yes, there are wonderful things happening in some nursing homes! The following post is taken from a Web-based group-by-invitation that I belong to. It is a forum open to individuals who have participated in Action Pact’s week-long workshop, “Choreography of Culture Change.”

In this post, Marilyn describes the evolution from awareness to action around the issue of honoring death and dying in a nursing home and supporting those who have lost someone through that death: family members, other residents and staff.

The rituals which which became a tradition at Perham Living reflect staff sensitivity to the reality around them. It reflects a response to “the signs of the times.”

There is no one-size-fits-all in any such significant ritual. What is common in all meaningful practices is the intentional response and value-based philosphy undergirding them. There may be ideas that Marilyn’s article stirs in you. If you have any connection with e! nursing home, you may have experiences of a similar approach. You would enrich us all by sharing them in the comments section or by e-mailing your comments to me so that I can post them. (ilmcdp@yahoo.com)

To the article!
By Marilyn Oelfke former Drector of Nursing at Perham Living, Perham Minnesota

Perham Living began their culture change journey in 2001. As the households evolved, it became apparent to everyone that we needed to find a way to help family members, the other residents in the households and the staff cope with death. We wanted to treat residents with dignity and respect from the time they entered the home until they left. As relationships grew stronger, the loss of a resident was more difficult for everyone to manage. We had tried to find new ways of addressing the need and nothing seemed to be really effective. Until one day when a household lost two long-time residents within 5 minutes of each other. The families, other residents and staff were deeply affected - something needed to be done....It happened that the first resident to pass away had been lovingly called the "jungle nurse" by her family as she had served in the Korean War. We had a quilt in the living room that had a vine quilted around the edge. Someone took the quilt to the room and placed it over the gray zipper bag that the funeral home typically used. Her body, draped in the quilt, was brought to the living room in the household where a brief prayer was said and everyone had an opportunity to share. When we were ready, everyone escorted her out through the town center to the front door to the waiting hearse. Our new tradition was born - each house now has a dignity quilt for use when a resident dies. The "Walk of Honor" is done on all shifts.

The practice was well received in the community of Perham - we heard many positive comments. The hospital adopted the practice as well. They too use a Dignity Quilt and the Walk of Honor when a patient dies. The Funeral Home staff have been very supportive of the practice and give residents, family and staff as much time as they need to say their "goodbyes".

This may not work in all facilities - it happened so naturally out of a need at the moment and everyone was involved in making it happen. It has made a significant difference for those at Perham Living and certainly worth consideration for other households.

We also have Memorial services for residents if the family wishes. One difference is that the service is prepared and done by the residents and staff in the household.