"Our barns are full!"

© Imelda Maurer, cdp

A brief continuation of yesterday's conversation refuting the belief that later life is circumscribed by "letting go".

We are all familiar with the images comparing the life cycle to the four seasons of the year. Autumn comes, the leaves fall, the trees are bare. We wait for the next season, a stark barren winter, which brings death.

An important initial message from Gene Cohen in his book, "The Mature Mind" is that we must change every idea we have about aging.  This "problem of aging", Cohen tells his readers, originated with the beginnings of aging studies research.  The studies were always focused on deficits and decline.  The aging process was always and only seen as a problem. Indeed that was brought home to me a few years ago. An area university library was thinning its shelves and I went to  see what was available. The lobby of the library was filled with books from their school of nursing for sale to the public.  As I panned the titles on these old, sometimes worn books, one has stayed with me: "The Aging Problem".

Cohen says we must look at research which only recently has looked at the positive aspects of aging. We must turn upside down - flip - every belief we have had in the past about aging.

Let's flip one concept here: The season of autumn as symbolic of later life.  

Traditional concept: Time when trees lose their leaves - a kind of decline and approaching death. (And we spiritualize this concept of loss and decline by invoking the Paschal Mystery.)

 

In reality, as the summer heat wanes, we wait with anticipation for that first cold snap, that crisp fall wind that tells us that the leaves will be changing, that their Fall colors will soon be in full array. Multitudes will be drawn to parks and to the countryside, awestrudk with this beauty!

This is what really happens to leaves, and I offer it as a flipped concept, a new but absolutely valid and truthful reality also about us and about aging in our later years.

In fact, these brilliant Fall colors have always existed in these now-brilliant autumn leaves. When the hours of sunlight lessen,  chlorophyll (green) production decreases and eventually stops entirely. No chlorophyll in the leaf, no green color.

It is only when the leaves "lose" their green color that the brilliants colors that have always been present in the leaves become visible. 

Flipped concept:

And for us humans also experiening ongoing change (called aging), for us, beauty, continued growth and development becomes possible and visible precisely through and because of our aging.

James Hillman in his book, "The Force of Character" writes about this very concept .

Fibnlly, another flipped concept of fall as a season of life was brought home to me at a prayer service sometime ago that was part of a meeting focusing on aging.

This one line has stayed with me and I smile every time I think of it:

"It is fall. Our barns are full."

Indeed they are!

I hope you smile too and cherish every moment, every 'stage' of life, wherever you are in it, as a time filled with potential for growth and development of your whole person.

There's more to later life than "letting go"

© Imelda Maurer, cdp
Aging is a universal experience. That is why anyone and everyone can speak to the issue, can speak of their experiences.  There is an inherent risk of error and misinformation, however, when the speaker/writer has a public venue, or is an expert in other fields (theology or spirituality for example) and speaks to an audience authoritatively about aging.

It has been my observation that these writers/speakers interpret aging experiences through the bias of popular culture rather than from honored, acceptable theories of aging and from gerontological research-based data. The result is the all-too-familiar one-dimensional approach to aging as loss and diminishment. It is the view that saturates our popular culture. This approach is often 'spiritualized' by teaching the spirituality of aging as circumscribed by the task of "letting go".

This topic merits much more comprehensive attention than a short blog post. I make two abbreviated points here though.

First: we human beings experience loss throughout our entire lives. It is a part of change.  Before a new thing can happen, the old thing has to end. Before we got our adult teeth we had to lose our baby teeth. In this change (read growth), there is always a simultaneous loss and gain. This is true multi-dimensionally:  physical, emotional, cognitive and social. We do not experience change for the first time when we retire from ministry, that period often referred to in religious literature as a time of transition.  Every change throughout life is a transition. Change happens throughout the life cycle. Perhaps the most profound change we human experience is leaving the warmth and intimacy of our mother's womb where heartbeat and voice are heard and felt in a warm, safe environment. The consequences of not going through the loss of that intimate relationships and space needs no explanation. Loss and gain -- simultaneous in any change and present throughout the lifespan.

Second: There is potential for growth and development throughout the life span -- up to our very last breath. The popular culture tells us that when our hair grays, when our collagen lessens and we wrinkle, that this loss and diminishment circumscribes or defines aging. We are more than our physical bodies and with the simultaneous experience of physical changes, there are also emotional, cognitive and experiential changes that are NOT losses.

If this whets your appetite for more, read the book, "The Mature Mind: The Positive Power of the Aging Brain" by Gene Cohen, M.D., Ph.D.  Here is a blurb from Amazon.com about this amazing, authoritative book.

"The Mature Mind delivers good news for those in the second half of life, with an extraordinary account of cutting-edge neuroscience, groundbreaking psychology, fascinating vignettes from history and case studies, and practical advice for personal growth strategies. Gene Cohen, a renowned psychiatrist and gerontologist, draws from more than thirty years of research to show that surprising positive changes in our brains have the powerful potential to enhance, not diminish, our lives after fifty."

Can the Environment Hold the Vision?

 ©  Imelda Maurer, cdp  

‘The Christmas season is here and I want to share news of Sister __________. She was happy to receive your Christmas card. Sister frequently enjoys attending Mass at her favorite parish with her family and friends and/or her Sisters.’ There was a full color photograph of Sister engaged with another Sister, and some more general news about this elder.

Though not a direct quote, this was the essence of a message from a Sister-friend from years past. Our physical paths have diverged and this Sister, a member of a different Congregation, is now in a nursing home. The letter was signed by one of her Sisters in elected leadership whom I do not know personally, along with her cell phone number!

What moved me as much as hearing about my friend were the values reflected in this action by her Sisters.  I’ve talked before in this blog about the primacy and importance of relationships throughout our life span. To me, this letter embodied an appreciation of this primacy. Sending this letter to all of Sister’s friends keeps her in the circle of her own community and beyond.

                                                                                                                                       

I don’t know how many letters went out in my friend’s name, but I do know two things: that letter touched everyone who received it, and the value of relationships was acknowledged and honored.  In this practice, ‘procedures’ are aligned with ‘values’ or ‘vision’.  It is a delightful example of the environment supporting the vision. I am grateful.

“An Improved Profile” Ageism – 1

© Imelda Maurer, cdp  

There is a TV commercial that I have seen several times promoting treatment for “moderate to severe fat below the chin.” There’s a catchy story line to the ad, ending with the promise that this procedure will result in “leaving an improved profile.”

Ageism pure and simple!  The assumption is that the absence of fat below the chin, the absence of that double chin that sometimes appears as one ages, is better, more acceptable.  This thinking says that the appearance of physical youthfulness is better than that appearance can only happen with physical maturity and an increase in years.

Ageism is pernicious.  Its effects have great potential for impacting the self-image of every single adult who has or at least has the potential of being blessed with a long life.  We cannot address this bias toward age and aging until we recognize it. 

Can you name an instance within the last few days where you saw ageism in the press, on TV, in cartoons, -- or even in your own unexamined thoughts?

Ageism is the last ‘ism’ to be conquered.  Interestingly enough, it is also the only ‘ism’, the only prejudice, to which every single person is subject to.  That is, if one is blessed with the gift of years.

Yesterday's error corrected

A reader notified me that the link I used yesterday is not functional.  I apologize.  I corrected the information in that post and include it here also.


Beth's article with accompanying pictures can be read here here

"Rebooting the Nursing Home"

Beth Baker is the author of several books. One, which I consider a classic is OLD AGE IN A NEW AGE. It was written almost ten years ago, but it is still so relevant.  It tells the story of several nursing homes in their transition from a hospital-like INSTITUTION to HOME. I consider it a must read.

Beth continues to write about this culture shift in nursing homes and has just this morning posted an article from Politico titled "Rebooting the Nursing Home."  Future consumers of nursing home services as well as present advocates of present nursing home residents must begin to imagine nursing homes in a new way and demand that environment and philosophy.  We must be able to imagine it if we are to make it happen.

Beth's article with accompanying pictures can be read here .

Loneliness Can Be Deadly

© Imelda Maurer, cdp   January 4, 2017

The title above is taken from today's post of "The New Old Age" in the New York Times.  Tragically, the word 'deadly' is not merely a figurative description of loneliness among elders. Research shows several negative outcomes - cognitive, emotional, and physical -- among older adults who are isolated and older adults who report feelings of loneliness.

In fact, self-reports of loneliness are a prediction of moving into a nursing home because, researchers theorize that loneliness is a precipitant to poor physical and mental health. That is, loneliness is followed by a rapid decline in physical and mental health.

Relationships are at the heart of life.  Life. Period. Not just youth or young adulthood, but LIFE.  Is is possible that in our well-intentioned work to provide "good care" to those elders under our charge, we focus on the physical, and are not mindful of the interpersonal, relational needs all of us share?

How does the environment, "activities" and "the schedule" (!) enable and encourage relationships and friendships among residents and between residents and persons who were a part of their lives before they came to live with us?

The article in the New York Times is well worth reading and  includes several useful related links.  You can read it here .