When I Grow Up I Want to Be an Old Woman -- revisited

© Imelda Maurer, cdp February 19, 2009

I’m sitting here this evening in front of the TV answering some e-mail. I just saw the Kaiser Permanente Health Management ad – once again.  It's a delightful one-minute commercial.  Click on the link above to see this now before you even think about reading the rest of this post.

The words are sung: “When I grow up I want to be an old woman , an old, old woman.” I like that image in itself. I mean, after all, when do we ever hear anyone saying or even intimating that they want to ‘be an old woman.”

The accompanying visuals show old women – heavier than they were thirty years earlier -- but vital, happy, purposeful – looking in the mirror, keeping time to some music, laughing with friends, playing tennis, enjoying life –

It’s such a refreshing image. “I want to be an old woman.” The alternative is an early death. How often I think of my sister, three years my elder, who died at age 49, that she did not get to grow old along with me so that we could each grow, together, to be “an old woman, an old, old woman”

Kaiser has another ad in which the audio is short and simple: Kaiser: Thrive!

“Thrive” is a medical, nursing term. An inexplicable nursing condition is “failure to thrive” which can lead to death. But we all know that term, thrive, as holding so much more. What images does it bring to your mind’s eye? One thrives in a nurturing environment, in an environment which honors our uniqueness, our abilities, our life story. Above all, one thrives in the circle of loving relationships.

Kaiser has done a great favor in showing these ads because they shed a little light on the adventure and the sacredness of the latter years of one’s life.

A Lovely Piece of Mail!

© Imelda Maurer, cdp October 14, 2015
    ilmcdp@yahoo.com

Yesterday’s mail included a card from Sister Antona, a Sister I know whose Congregational mother house and administrative offices are here in the St. Louis area. Its message was “Come visit me at my new home!"  This elder Sister, whom I have visited before when she was living in an apartment complex, has now moved to a retirement center where she is receiving the supportive services she needs.

I love that this Congregation has shared this “new address” information with Sister Antona’s friends. That action reflects the recognition of the primacy of relationships at every stage of life.  It says in its own way, ‘hey, I’ve moved.  I have a new address.  But what was important to me in the past –keeping in touch with friends, maintaining relationships – is still important, so I want to continue to stay in touch!’

The letter also indirectly says that life is more than ‘good care.’  That phrase is often the stock response of a person evaluating a nursing home where a friend or family member lives:  “They get good care there.”  I wrote about that in an earlier post on this blog.

The card also reminded me of the goal of true, transformational culture change in communities that provide aging services:  We want the biggest change that an elder experiences when s/he moves to an aging services community to be just that:  a change of address. We want to still be at home ---- home which is a place where privacy, respect, security, choice, continuing one’s chosen daily routines, autonomy spontaneity and grace are part of every day. I hope that’s true for you, Sister Antona!  I’ll be over to visit very soon!