© Imelda Maurer, cdp August 19, 2015
ilmcdp@yahoo.com
The Pioneer Network, on its Facebook Page, posted an article
this morning from McKnight’s online publication. The article is entitled
“Spirituality in long-term care” by Eleanor Feldman Barbera, Ph.D. Pioneer
Network asked if there were any comments. Oh, yes, I have a comment!
Dr. El, as this PhD. psychologist refers to herself, gleaned
from Kushner’s book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” the message that
the question of the negative events of our life should be not “Why me?” but
“Why not me?” Dr. El uses this insight to “help people come to terms with
their experiences.” “Come to terms” ----hmmm --- Does that mean I should accept
my situation without any positive expectations? I’ve seen this attitude of
‘coming to terms’ addressed by priests and other ministers who advise elders in
nursing homes to practice patience when they have to wait endlessly for their
call bell to be answered, for example, or when the food arrives cold and unpalatable.
"Come to terms" in this context, then, is the
"offer it up" message those of us in the Catholic tradition used to
hear so often years ago: Just “offer it up.”
Another “spiritual aspect of long-term care” according to Dr. El
is “the need to cope with the rules and regulations of an institutional
environment.” The task, she says, is to “stay serene in the face of these
challenges.” Another example of ‘just offer it up.’ The prior
question, however, must be asked: WHY are elders forced to live in an
institutional environment rather than HOME in the nursing home?
Many years ago, I gained an insight about this “offer it up”
message. I heard a zealous Jesuit priest in New Orleans say that as religious
with a vow of Poverty, we should live like poor people. That included, he
said, using the services of Charity Hospital when medical services are
required, just like poor people, who are forced to do by necessity. I took the
words seriously and when a minor incident prompted my need for emergency care
not long thereafter, I went to Charity Hospital Emergency Room in Lafayette.
It was late afternoon on a Saturday. The only details I remember
are seeing the large number of people coming in with all sorts of emergencies.
I remember waiting for hours in the large waiting room with so many obviously
poor and overwrought families. I left Charity Hospital with a new
insight: my role is not to endure Charity Hospital services, but to work
to change the system so that no one has to endure those
conditions. I must work for the presence of conditions that honor my and every
other person’s dignity and rights. After all, this is what God wants for each
of us. This is what we work for, the presence and lived experience of all
that God wants for each of us – the Kingdom of God with us.
Sister Carol Zinn, in her Presidential Address to the Leadership
Conference of Women Religious in 2014, spoke of precisely these kinds of issues
and conditions using a stirring metaphor: God's wish for all that is good for
us as the music that is in God’s Heart. Carol noted many ‘lamentations’ in
today’s world: war, poverty, hunger, persecution. And she repeatedly asked at
naming one lamentation after another: “Are we standing in the lamentations
singing the music that is in the Heart of God?”
The lamentations of our elders who live institutionalized in
institutions are so obvious: task and schedule taking priority over
person-centered living; resultant boredom, depression, withdrawal, loss of
self. Many of these losses are due to the effects of ageism throughout our
society. Ageism which is so deep and so pervasive that we – even many of us
dedicated to aging services – succumb to its lethal consequences to our elders
and our staff. We wear blinders so close to our eyes that we fail to
imagine there may be another way to serve our elders.
Our task is not to tell our staff and elders, in effect, “offer
it up.” We are impelled to change the system, to bring forth the Kingdom
of God among us. More beautifully stated by Sister Carol Zinn, we are
called to stand in these lamentations and sing the music that is in God’s
Heart.
Let us sing! With loud, determined and persistent voice, with
courageous and compassionate hearts!