Simply Caring

© Imelda Maurer, cdp May 10, 2015
ilmcdp@yahoo.com

Several months ago I was invited by Jan McGillick, a social worker, gerontology professor and colleague, to facilitate an evening event at an assisted living community which serves persons living with dementia. Residents and family members who were present were invited to gather in the living room to talk about their experience of friends and friendship throughout their life. At the end of a fascinating experience, Jan escorted me through the house to the front door.  In the foyer we both saw a sight which was literally “a Kodak moment.” I took the picture which is here.

  

Hoping for permission, which was granted, to use the picture, I articulated for the family members of each of these women the tender, personal yet powerful message of the picture:

This picture reflects simply and profoundly the human capacity to care and the human capacity for mutuality and relationships at all stages of life.  Though the disease of Alzheimer’s may prevent proper verbal articulation of these capacities and needs, they can still be experienced and expressed, particularly if the physical environment and the philosophy of services facilitates and honors the movements of the human heart.

In this aging services community, the environment is intentionally focused on “home” where individuals feel secure and have a sense of belonging. The image shows that one elder is allowing another to lean her head on her shoulder. The smaller, petite woman wants to sleep, but she does not want to go to bed. The care partners know this particular preference of the resident and it is honored. In doing so, even if by happenstance, a sense of community and of caring is experienced by the second elder in the picture.

This picture is precious for more than one reason: First, in what the picture reveals, in the stirring of the human heart upon seeing it.  Secondly, it serves as a powerful model when used to reflect how principles of person-directed living can be lived out in a setting that is home and where spontaneity is a normal aspect of an elder’s day. The picture opens the imagination of those in the helping professions who only have images or experiences of an institutional, medical-model style of “health care” where task and staff convenience take precedence over the centrality of the person.